Forgotten Tears
So
this is my poem that I wrote in the MTC after a talk by Sheri Dew. This poem is about my life, but it starts in
the pre-earth life and goes through my time on earth and concludes in the
future when I go back to live with God.
Forgotten tears fell on my nose as I left
my Father pleading “don’t let me go” “I’m not ready to leave you, or say good
bye mom” Why must I go?... Must I go for
so long? I’m not ready for rejection,
nor trail, must I do this? Send someone
else, I’m not worthy for this cause. I’m
not perfect like you, I have too many flaws.”
As
he touched my cheek and dried my tears, he whispered to me, “There’s nothing to
fear.” “I know your sorrows, your
suffering, your pain” “But trust in me,
and from this you shall gain” “for I am
your Savior, and I know all” “I have
chosen you, my child, for this is your call” Don’t worry, I’m here, when you’re
all alone, but it’s time my son, it’s time to go.
No
answer was given, nothing to feel. My
mind started wondering, was he even real? My heart turned cold, I knew him not. My life continued, him no longer in thought.
But
he stayed with me, and I didn’t know until later in time, when I was once again
low.
It
was no longer my peers, no longer their words, it was not their torment, nor taunting,
that caused me to yearn. It was the ones
I loved, who held out their hands, who picked me up, when I was unable to
stand.
What
started out so small, so minut, so innocent, caused my mom and I to fight, her
tears, my resentment. Fights with my mom,
became fights with my dad. “I’m leaving, I hate you. Now I lost what I had. Now on the streets, all alone, no clothes, no
food, no money, no phone.
With
nowhere to turn, by myself in the dark, I remembered the words I once felt in
my heart. He touched my cheek and dried
my tears; then whispered to me, “There’s nothing to fear” I know your sorrows,
your suffering, your pain but I suffered for you. I’m the one you can blame for I am your
savior, and I love you my son. Have
faith in me, and see what you can become.”
Now
with tears on my nose, and a packed bag, my parents hugged me tight, just
trying to lag “I’m not ready to see you leave said the voice of my mom. “Why
must you go?... Must you go for so long? Because I’m ready for pain, I’m ready
for anguish, I’m ready for rejection and trail.
I must do this. I’m ready to
go. I’m ready for this cause, because I
know he loves me. He died for my
flaws.
As
I wiped my mothers cheeks and dried her tears, I whispered to her, “There is
nothing to fear.” “He knows my sorrows, my suffering, my pain. I know I can trust him, and he loves me the
same. He gave me this love, so that I
can share. This love that he holds, all
the sins that he bares. He wants all his
children to come back to him. To show them
his hands, clean them of sin. I know I’m
the one to bring them to Christ, to show them the way, turn the mean to the
nice. But it is not me, I am just a tool
without the spirit, I am just a fool for he is our savior and he know all, he
gave me this chance, he gave me this call.
Now
that I’m done and I’ve served the Lord, my weakness and sorrows became so much
more. I learned that life has it’s ups
and downs and no matter what time, you can put your knees to the ground. He will answer, but give him time. You know he loves you, don’t ask him
why.
Now,
my vision fades and my hearing stops, but he’s in my heart, he’s in my
thoughts. It’s hard to walk, I lie in
bed, I think of my mother, who is dead.
I miss her voice, I miss her love, but I know she’s happy smiling from
above.
With
my last shaking breath, I bid my goodbye exhaling once more. I hear my mother say “Hi”. I could not tell and did not know, but he
never forgot the tears on my nose.
The End
Elder Harrison Chacon, written at the MTC on 8/2/2015
Harrison
had a post-it note on the hand written poem that said:
“Share
this poem with all who you think should know.
I wrote this and it helped me, but I was directed an prompted to write
it and I know it is meant for others to hear.”
Thank
you…
Mom
& Dad, I love you so much. I was
lost in a world where it was easy to be distracted by many different paths, but
no matter what the path that led to you was always the most inticing, loving
and warm direction I could have ever have chosen. Your love and support has gotten me to where
I am today. Thank you mom, for being so
good looking and getting dad to fall for you, but thank you so much more for
having such a sweet and strong spirit and leading dad to fall for the gospel. Without that step I would not be here and I
would not have the truth in my life. I
want to share two stories… There was a super rich lady who lived in the 1920’s. This lady had a huge home with a lot of
grass. She needed someone to take care
of it so she went a looked for someone.
She wanted someone who looked strong and trustworthy and just a well
rounded young man. Well, she found this
boy and told him, “I will give you $2.00 to mow the lawn, just a regular job
she added $3.00 for an amazing job $4.00 and for a PERFECT job that is rarely
done. The boy listened with intent. The old lady continued, I will give you $5.00
if you do a job that is impossible, that has never ben done and is far behond
“perfection”. The boy ran home, excited
about his new job. He looked forward to
the task at hand. The boy arrived the
following day at the lady’s home and cut the grass. He then, after finishing, went to the lady’s
door and said “I’m done” and she said “ know, I have been watching you, here is
$2.00”. Time continued and the boy
wondered what would it take to do a $3.00 job so the next time he went he cut
the grass just right and edged the sides and sweeped up. Once again saying “I’m done, I’ve done a
$3.00 job.” The lady replied “I know,
I’ve been watching you work” Time
continued to move forward and so did the thoughts of the boy. “I wonder what it would take to do a $4.00
job? He wondered and when he arrived at
the house he mowed the lawn, edged, pulled weeds and trimmed the trees, sweeped
and after finishing said “I have done a $4.00 job”. “I know, I’ve been watching you work hard and
you did an amazing job”. After doing
this many times he started to questions again, what would it take to do a $5.00
job? So he asked around and learned
techniques and other ways to perfect a yard.
Upon arriving once more to the house, but this time before the sun came
up, he started to work and he mowed the lawn and mowed it in different
directions to get different patterns, he pulled weeds and trimmed all the trees
and bushes. He arranged the rocks so
they were perfect and did all he could and then the sun went down. He knocked on the door. “Mamm, I have done a $5.00 job” The lady
replied, with tears in her eyes. I know
I have watched you work all day and done everything you can, here is your
$5.00, no one has ever done this before and you have made all the difference!”
As
missionaries we have a choice, are we going to be a $2.00, $3.00, $4.00 or
$5.00 missionary? I know which
missionary I am going to be and I will earn that $5.00 because the Lord and the
people I serve deserve the best that I can give. You have raised a $5.00 missionary and I
can’t thank you enough for that.
Another story Harrison sent home with hand written
letter 8/2015
A
young man at his farewell bor his testimony, he talked about a dream that he
had. In this dream he was in the pre-earth
life and he had a best friend, he loved this friend so much. One day, he got a letter, and it ws a
call. He gave it to his friend to read
out loud. “You have been called to a
home of love and comfort and a country of freedoms and wealth. You will be born in a home where the gospel
of Jesus Christ will be lived and taught.
You have been called to the the USA.”
Both of them were super excited and jumped with joy. Another letter came for his friend and they
read it aloud together. “You have been
called to a home full of contention and heartache, a country where you will
struggle with life’s basic essentials.
You will not have the gospel. You
have been called to Costa Rica. The two
men were sadden, knowing his friend would not have the gospel and would
struggle. The young man from the USA
grew in the gospel and was called to serve a mission to Costa Rica. One year later his bishop received a double
sided piece of paper from that missionary that said “ I FOUND MY FRIEND”!!!
Harrison,
went on to write… Mom, dad, Brooke, CJ, Shannon, Brian & Caitlin, I
struggle every single day, but it does not matter how I feel. It does not matter how my body feels after I
help someone move and then bike all day while fasting, it does not matter how I
feel when I get threatened at a door step.
It does not matter how I feel when I miss my little sister, because I
know that people are waiting to hear my voice and my voice is directed through
the spirit and if I am worried about myself, then how is the spirit supposed to
dwell in me? I am here to invite others
to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel, through Faith
in Jesus Christ and his Atonement, repentence, baptism, receiving the gift of
the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end. That
is what I am going to do. I’m going to
work hard, then work hard then after that work hard! I’m a different person now. I love all of you guys so much.
I’M
SO GLAD THEY CALLED ME ON A MISSION! THE
FIELD IS WHITE ALREADY TO HARVEST.
LOVE,
ELDER
CHACON
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